


there's bones in my closet (but you hang stuff anyway)

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Series: I've lost control, please save me from myself (4.08 fix-it) [1]
Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Coda, Connor Deserves Happiness, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Oliver Deserves Happiness, POV Connor Walsh, Relationship Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-03 00:45:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12737619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: It all comes out, and rather than being upset at Oliver, Connor gets pissed at Laurel.Laurel Castillo, who by everything stated in Oliver’s testimony, emotionally blackmailed Oliver, Michaela, and Asher.Coda to Nobody Roots for Goliath.





	there's bones in my closet (but you hang stuff anyway)

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "Guillotine" by Jon Bellion.
> 
>  
> 
> I listened almost exclusively to the song "The Light That Never Fails" by Andra Day which provides a pretty good soundtrack for the story.
> 
> This will probably get massively jossed by this week's episode, but eh, I felt like it needed to be read.

It all comes out, and rather than being upset at Oliver, Connor gets pissed at Laurel.

Laurel Castillo, who by everything stated in Oliver’s testimony, emotionally blackmailed Oliver, Michaela, and Asher.

This mess pulled apart Michaela and Asher’s relationship, endangered all of their lives, pulled a trying-to-redeem-himself Frank back into spying, and why? Because of Laurel’s guilt over Wes’ death, she dragged them all into this mess.

Because that’s what this is, isn’t it? Guilt. Obession, maybe. Not love, at least not healthy love. Because Connor may have some fucked up views on love, but he knows that if Oliver- _ god forbid _ \- was murdered, he wouldn’t be fucking someone else less than a month after Oliver’s death. He wouldn’t be pulling his friends into a self-destructive spiral.

There’s something up with Laurel that she’s not letting on, and it’s not just that she’s pregnant. Hormones can do some really strange things, but not this. Not manipulating and coercing her friends into dangerous things when they’ve all been trying to move on. Not dragging her friends away from self-care and back into addiction, into chaos. Not disregarding relationships that have taken forever to build to a safe place.

Connor can feel himself slipping back into the place he was just a month ago, but he refuses to sink into self-guilt for not noticing this was happening. Yes, he should have noticed, but he was having a mental crisis.

Only over the last couple of weeks he has been better. Still a bit fragile, but happier. Working with Annalise has been satisfying in a way that nothing else has been since the case defending       last year. He can be a force for something other than self-destruction- he can bring help and change. He is in an emotionally safe place right now.

He looks at Oliver, who just a few months ago was the idealistic one, the optimistic one. Now he is in the same place Connor was in, where self-hatred and fear erode away at what makes him happy. He is fragile, brittle, a few moments away from breaking completely.

(Connor’s anger towards Laurel is only matched by his concern for Oliver.)

Oliver has been lying to Connor, but he’s also been emotionally manipulated into it. He is an adult, yes, and thus some of the blame lies in him and his bad decision-making, but that doesn’t mean he’s not vulnerable. That doesn’t mean he can’t be manipulated by guilt over someone’s death, over their child having to live without them.

(There’s a reason why Oliver’s parents have never come to visit them, why even after the whole fiasco with Connor’s dad the two of them never mentioned Oliver’s parents to the rest of their friends.)

Oliver made some horrible decisions, but the two of them have gotten through worse. They got through Wes, through murder, through cheating, and through Stanford. They love each other. They can make it through this.

Connor places a hand over Oliver’s, noting the way Oliver’s hand trembles under his. Oliver feels ready to break beneath him. “Ollie,” he says gently, “Lying wasn’t okay. But we’ve been through this before. If you can forgive me for what I did, I forgive you for this. I love you. I still want to marry you, if that’s what you’re afraid of. Oliver Hampton, you are my rock. I want to be yours. I want to be the person you feel comfortable telling everything to. Will you marry me and let me be that for you, just as you are to me?”

Oliver lets out a shaky breath and nods. “More than anything.”

“Then that’s it, then,” Connor says softly, and then leans in. He presses his lips to Oliver’s, and Oliver’s free hand drifts up to Connor’s cheek, cradling it.

Three years ago, Connor was sleeping around with plenty of guys, no goal in the world but plenty of sex and a meteoric rise to the top. Oliver had been just another IT guy, low-level despite his talent, insecure and believing himself unworthy of a hot guy desiring him. They had fallen together and, somehow, made each other better.

Then people got murdered. Government departments were hacked. District Attorneys were blackmailed and illegal immigrants were planned to be used as scapegoats. The two of them shattered in different ways, the only constant in their lives each other.

The two of them are broken, battered and splintered by the world. They have lived in fear for so long, unable to escape from the guilt of the secrets they’ve had to keep. They’ve been made into things, creatures that they hate. They’ve done things they know are wrong and that they’ll regret forever.

But if there’s one thing that Connor’s never regretted, it’s falling in love with Oliver.

They’ll get through this. They always have.

Their lips separate, and their foreheads rest against each other. A tear slips off of Oliver’s cheek and onto Connor’s, and he can feel Oliver’s fingers tightening slightly around his. “I thought I’d lost you,” Oliver says, eyes shut and voice shaking.

“Never,” Connor says, “I love you, Ollie.”

“I love you too, Connor,” Oliver says.

No matter what happens at the party tommorow, no matter what shit gets thrown at them, they'll have each other. Connor knows that that is all he'll need.


End file.
